Mixed

I have such mixed feelings lately I am so thankful and happy for my husband and my wedding and everything that led up to our perfect wedding and reception.  But losing Mike so quickly after that perfect night just made me so confused and sad.  And to think I had to go though all of that without my family made it all the harder.  The truth is I am so angry with them I sometimes forget to be happy or sad.  I guess I really don't know what to think or say at this point.  I am so ridiculously happy with my husband and our future that part of me just wants to not care what happens with them because we have made it this far without them and I have never been this happy but part of me wants them to be part of my life so badly.  Then again I dont want to feel like I am forcing them to want to be here either. It is such a mixed bag of feelings :(
I have a really hard time being happy about my wedding as well knowing that my husband and I both lost a very dear friend on what was the happiest night of our lives is so hard to wrap your head around.
I have ONLY good memories with Michael, he was quiet and shy when I met him but he always told the truth and was always like a brother to me and had something that would make me laugh.

I am so glad that I dont have to work anymore today I am really tired of having to feel like we work all weekend when we are not being paid...... oh well I guess that is par for the course right now.  Ready to just relax though and not think about it.  I need to clean my closet and get organized I feel like I need a  deep clean.  I really do not care for this holiday at all and dressing up is silly its just not my thing and I feel like its a waste of time and I could be having more fun by not doing it.  Oh well.... we do these things for our friends I suppose. 
On another topic school is going well and I have finals next week I am pretty stoked to be done with another set of classes.  I am really ready to be done with school and just be happy with my degree :) That will be great!  Plus my wedding is next year I am going to research wedding stuff hat always makes me happy :)

In my head some days I really wonder why we all bother to try so hard.  Whether it is friendships or relationships they just should not be so hard.  I am finding that the older I get the less I care about it all.  I feel like I have the people in my life that matter and the other people... well I just dont care.  I am truly starting to dislike facebook and the constant updates on what each person does each day.... do you all really think people care that much?  If they do maybe they need a hobby... but then again in this day and age some queer a** probably thinks that is their hobby.  Does it really better anyones lives?  I doubt it.  The truth is more often than not people are using it to "one up" one another and that really doesn't make anyone feel better.  I find it funny that we profess our love for our husbands and boyfriends on this freaking site just so we can make our friends jealous or let everyone know just how great our life is.... well if your life was really that great then just live it and stop trying to keep up with the preverbial "Jones"  ugh... I would say I am sorry but I am really not... I have fallen into the dramatic BS in the past but I am happy to say that I will not any longer.  I dont care if I have to delete every one I am starting to clean house because the truth is the people who matter will be there and the people who dont well who really cares where they end up...

As simple as I thought Algebra would be.....yes, I was wrong..... Very very wrong. If it weren'tfor our accounting team and google it would never have gotten done. So thank you to them for a 97% on my first assignment. So while I was watching the clock today, I decided to read the headlines in the paper and there was one that fought my eye and raised a few questions. The headline said, South Carolina school agrees to move bus stop from strip club. First question.... What school, elementary, junior high or high school? I mean if it were elementary school the moms who work at the strip club are going to be upset. If it is high school they are doing it for their patrons or to increase the new recruits? You just have to question most of all how the bus stop ended up at the strip club in the first place???? That being said we have to keep in mind that this is a southern state and they do things a little differently.. These states believe in marriage between cousins and such and they look at " gator hunting" as a way of life. Some of them have no idea what a dentist is and have very few whole teeth in their mouth. They also speak a language they call Cajun.... It's very tough to catch on to or understand but this may be because of the lack of teeth... Food for thought....

Well since I have this I suppose I may as well use it.  If only to put my thoughts some where out in cyber space I suppose that is ok.  Straight A's in school has proved to be tedious and at the same time rewarding.  I do love knowing that I am getting a degree with high honors in school.  Life outside of school is stressful, happy, frustrating, and sometimes even slightly disappointing but its life so what else do we expect.
Yesterday on my way home from work a WOMAN yes I freaking said it a woman in a Camero decided to not only attempt to run me off the road but then proceeded to follow me until she could get up next to me and try to take my picture!! Creepy I know..... so I being the kind hearted individual that I am decided to wave to her and upon seeing the camera blocked my face from view.  I do this in hopes it will deter this crazy broad from putting my face on a billboard in hopes of hiring an assassin to come find me..... YES I truly believe she was that crazy....
Enough fun and games its time for some football!!

Until next time :) I bid you adieu!

Here ya go DAD

Well my dad ever so politely told me that I need to update my blog, so here I am. I have now finished my midterms and am half way through my first set of classes!! By the way dad I got my official grades back and I am sitting at 97% in both classes so there is less room for improvement :) Bobs folks have come and gone and as lovely as it was to have them, getting back to life as usual was nice too!! I am counting down until christmas now so that I can see my family!! I will also have a little break from school then too so that will be nice!
Softball league has its first game friday night !!! Wish us luck we were not kidding when we named our team the "misfits" lol.
Well that is it for now its back to work for me!!

School has begun

Well I have gone through my first week of orientation and I must say I am still excited. I have gotten it all done and turned in on time.
I am excited to start the classes that will lead to my degree.
Life in general is good, Bobs parents are coming into town in a couple weeks so I have much to look forward to and prepare for :) but its all good.
My parents left last weekend which as hard as it was to say goodbye I know they are happy and for that I am eternally grateful.
I want nothing more than their happiness in life for all they have done for me and my brothers.